Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I’m a Lackluster Mom, but I Love a Project

Please understand right from the start, that I’ve never felt I was a particularly good mom.  I have two daughters who are now 24 and 19 (not to mention a step daughter in her 30s) and there are still times when I feel like I should apologize for how I’ve warped them.  Having read my fair share of crime thrillers I know that no matter what, it is always the mom’s fault that a psycho is a psycho.  It’s a rule.  The mullets I had their hair cut into, the insane outfits I let them pick out and wear, and the photographic evidence of these crimes against good taste will come back to haunt me when it comes time for them to pick out my nursing home.  To be fair, my husband has always agreed that the best reason to have kids was to dress them funny, but I am sure that they find that merely an endearing foible of his while I bear the brunt of their simmering resentment. 
That being said, as they’ve gotten older and I spend less time at swim meets and parent teacher conferences, I’ve been looking around for other projects.  Ask my kids about me and I promise you, the first thing they will say is “She really likes a project”.  They will also roll their eyes, especially if I am chatting about whatever the project du jour happens to be.  The latest project is getting a part of the basement finished off before Christmas.  This has the added bonus of getting my husband involved in one of my projects which, I can assure you, he loves.  He and my brother are doing the construction, but I will do the finish work and paint.  Painting a wall adequately isn’t exactly my idea of creativity or fun, but the effort to results ratio is pretty good so I find it pretty satisfying. 
I’ve always taken charge of all interior painting, and ten years ago when we destroyed our old house and had our current house installed, I ended up putting the majority of the paint on the walls.  I look back on that time and wonder how I did it, mostly because I had no iPod or podcasts.  Podcasts have totally changed how I perceive mindless tasks like painting, and I am convinced that with the right podcasts, I could change the world in one hour chunks.  Right now I am obsessed with two podcasts. 
The first is WTF with Marc Maron.  I am sad to say that I had not heard of Marc Maron prior to becoming fixated on his podcast, but he’s been a respected stand up comedian for quite some time.  For whatever reason, I happen to be intrigued by stand up comedy as a profession which is why I am endlessly fascinated with the way he interviews other stand up comedians and comic actors about their craft.  It is often hilarious, sometimes horrifying, but never ever boring.  I learn something every time I listen and am always a little sad when it is over.  I am not sure how many people are as interested in the nuts and bolts of what it takes to be a comedian, and the people who are drawn to it, but if you are, might I suggest you give him a listen.
My other favorite podcast is Smodcast with Kevin Smith and Scott Moiser.  Anyone who is even remotely familiar with Kevin Smith knows that this man can talk, and listening him banter with his long time friend and producer Scott Moiser is magical.  I used to listen to them while I’d walk around the neighborhood for exercise.  I had to stop doing this because I’d find myself doubling over and braying with laughter, so rather than get a reputation as the crazy (possibly dangerous) laughing lady, I’ve opted limit myself to listening in the privacy of my own house where my reputation is already firmly established. 
During my younger daughter’s senior year of high school, I found myself sewing a prom dress for her.  As a rule, I try to avoid sewing, but since my sweet baby has been blessed with a disproportionate figure, and I really wanted her to feel pretty, I reluctantly agreed to take on this task.  I ended up working on it for about two weeks straight and even took a vacation day to finish it off.  While I sewed, I listened to Smodcast.  At some point, my baby came down to keep me company and together we listened as Kevin got his mom high on pot brownies (with her permission) and asked her about her sex life with his dad.  Was it appropriate?  Hell no.  Was it funny?  Oh yes, we laughed our keisters off! 
A few months ago, when it was advertised that Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes were coming to the Detroit area to record a podcast before a live audience, my baby wanted me to go with her.  She is currently in college and working part time, so she has the money to buy her own tickets, and she has friends her own age she could go with.  When I mentioned this she said “Yeah, but no one would be as much fun to go with as you”.  Needless to say, we bought the tickets.              
The Butcher

1 comment:

  1. I am definitely checking out those podcasts!

    So envious that your baby knew to ask you to that kind of entertainment. My middle spawn asked me to go to the Nutcracker with her, and I feel guilty that I made up some excuse not to because I am not crazy about the ballet. But it occurs to me now it's my own fault for not letting on how warped I really am so she'd know!