- Comic Sans: If you have to ask you should probably just stop reading now. Unless you are under the age of ten.
- Any Default Setting in PowerPoint or Similar Programs: If they are giving it to you, they think you are too dumb to really use their tools so they will give you the most gaudy option because they assume you must be easily distracted by shiny objects.
- All Caps in Ornate Fonts: We can’t read it, and the only reason you can read it, is because you wrote it. Trust me, no one else can read it.
- Distorted Aspect Ratios: A tall, skinny picture will never fit into a square space unless you cut some off the top or bottom and we will notice if you try to squish it in. I promise.
Lot o’ Outlines: Figure out how to get rid of them and do it. You can always add one or two back later even though you probably shouldn’t.- More Than Three Different Fonts at a Time: Trained professionals can get away with this but you cannot.
- Thinking I Need a Portfolio Piece More Than Money: Really, I’d prefer to get paid like a big lady.
- Asking Me to Fix Something Your Nephew or Spouse Started and Messed Up: Especially if you went to them because you didn’t want to pay me to do it right in the first place.
- Resolution: If you don’t understand why a 2”x2” 100 dpi graphic you stole off the web won’t make a good poster, you shouldn’t be making posters.
- Gradients: These are kind of like loaded weapons. They have a use, but are best left to those who respect them.
The Butcher
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